There are several reasons why I live with regret when it comes to my wedding day. Now, before I go any further, you should know that I am happily married for 2.5 years, and my decision to get married is not what this post is about! Weddings in the 21st century have become more about the event than the vows, and that’s not very hard to see. Your wedding day should be a fantastic celebration, full of magic and laughter surrounded by those you love. Hear me out – I’m not saying that I wasn’t satisfied with the way my wedding turned out, nor am I trying to be ungrateful. My parents were overly generous when it came to making sure my special day was perfect – but there are several things that I just wish I would have done differently. One being, taking the money… and running. Because, you know, parents are always right ; ) So, it’s my hope that with this little nugget of knowledge, some of you bride-to-be’s may be able to avoid some of the things that I regret about my wedding day.
- Be present in the moment: When I look back on my wedding day, I cannot remember one time when I was just out on the dance floor, having fun and celebrating with my friends. All I remember was being so uptight and stressed out, that I felt as though I didn’t enjoy the presence of anyone on my wedding day. I have no special memories of dancing the night away, taking photos with my closest friends, or taking a minute to relax with my family.
- Get the pictures that you truly want: One of my biggest pieces of advice, would be to get a list of pictures that you want to capture beforehand, and get them to your photographer first thing that day. Although it’s nice to be considerate of your guests, it’s your day. If you need to take a couple hours or so before the reception getting the pictures that you truly want, do it. I was so, so worried about my guests and who may be getting ready to starve if they didn’t get their dinner at a reasonable time, that I passed up a huge opportunity to get the most precious memories, my pictures, done properly. I just didn’t speak up.
- Spend time with your groom: Ugh. I cannot stress this enough. Outside of getting the very few photos that we got that day, I don’t even remember seeing Nathaniel hardly at all during the wedding. I understand that it’s nice to get around to greet family and friends, but try to do it as a couple!
- Don’t obsess on your wedding party just for the numbers: Hopefully, I don’t step on any toes here, but I’m pretty sure all of my friends are understanding of this one. Don’t ask someone to be in your wedding just for the numbers. During the 1.5 year of my engagement, I lost two bridesmaids over the pettiest of issues. There were also other bridesmaids in my wedding that should not have been. This is probably one of my biggest regrets to this day. Friendships that are not ultimately strong to begin with, should not be included in your wedding day. Also, I’ve known several couples who have made the decision to not incorporate even family members due to a lack of relationship. Please, please, please never feel obligated or guilted into a decision that you’re not 100% sure about. It is your day, and your day only.
- Lastly, if your heart is telling you to elope, but your mind won’t let you come off of the “what if”, follow your heart: I so wish I would have listened to everyone around me when it came to doing a small, intimate, destination wedding and a moderately sized reception at home. I would have been so much more stress-free and relaxed, the photos would have come out much better, and overall, we would have saved a LOT of money.
All in all, I hope that I don’t come off as ungrateful. I am just sharing my thoughts of some of the things that I wish I could go back and do differently. My wedding day was beautiful, and at the end of the day, I was married to the love of my life and I wouldn’t change that for the world… just a few of the logistics. 😉
